Dear, dear doctor.
Dear, dear nurse.
I can't turn a sow's ear
Into a silk purse.
What is said and what is printed
Are sometimes not the same,
But trust me when I tell you,
I'm surprised it's not ALL lame.
Transcription appears so easy now,
with technology so perfected
But we filter the words through many a mess,
With results that are quite unexpected.
There are many snarls and many snakes
That can keep your words unheard.
Beware the traps that steal your voice
So the intent is all inferred.
Your diction is most important.
Enunciation is also a must.
Locution is also a requisite,
Or all language is just a bust.
Your habits are in a terrible decline.
The worst I'VE ever seen.
And if you don't improve them soon,
I may be forced to scream.
I can't hear you when you're chewing.
I can't hear you when you burp.
If you're talking while you're eating,
It sounds like "crunch and slurp."
I can't hear you when you whisper.
I can't hear you when you mutter,
I can't hear you when you garble,
It's all just stammer & stutter.
I can't hear you with that baby crying.
I can't hear you through that noise.
I can't hear you over that vacuum.
I just CAN'T HEAR YOU girls and
boys!
Please try to notice the background noise.
Please know we hear it all.
If the fire alarm is hooting and honking,
We can't hear you on this call.
The ringing phone, the screeching siren,
The partying on the floor,
The clanging of the surgical pans
We hear it all and more.
That's why I'm asking, that's why I'm pleading.
Please think of the person who listens.
We're untying your tongues and we're straining our ears,
and there's still a lot that's missing.
Please use consideration,
And when dictating PLEASE don't drone.
Please realize your expression and boredom,
Come through on the other end of the phone.
Don't be too timid and sigh and murmur.
And don't shout in my ear.
The way you usually talk on the phone
Is what we want to hear.
If the printed report of your eloquent speech
appears not as anticipated.
It may be the result of the clamor and din,
And what you poorly articulated.
So don't be so quick to pass the blame
To the transcriptionists who work hard and long.
They know what they're doing and they do it well.
And they're not always the ones in the wrong.
Shape up, I say! Wake up, I say!
Be aware and pay attention!
We need your help and cooperation,
Because clarity is our intention.
